a quiet introspective moment -- rare

Okay, so it's a little after one in the morning and I'm the only one awake. Just the way I like things. I'm sitting here doing some research online on some various issues and listening to music. I'm also having coffee...some hazelnut mocha I made here with a topping of whipped cream. I love coffee. It's my personal theory that man can survive on coffee and cigarettes alone. I think I may have done it for a semester or 2 in school. One of my biggest temptations is the Starbucks that's across the street from my son's daycare. I'm usually running too far behind in the morning to stop, and somehow the siren song of Starbucks isn't as strong in the afternoon, so I usually don't give in. Most days I just stop at the complimentary coffee station at work and get the generic coffee that does the job just as well.

So I finally told my mother today about the possibility of moving away. She didn't seem exactly thrilled, but she said that she really couldn't say anything, because she moved from Minnesota to southern California. She told me I need to do whatever I think will be best for my family, but that she would miss seeing us all the time. I currently live about 20 miles from her. I'm feeling kind of torn between a feeling of familial duty and the need/want to leave. She and my stepfather are both at least semi-retired. My step-father had a minor stroke last weekend. He's okay, getting better, but not 100%. He has a walker that he's using to help get around and he can't use his left hand properly. He's going through physical therapy to work on that. But it's things like that I think about. Now, if something happened and I was needed, I could be there in 30 minutes. If I move to the Pacific Northwest as we're contemplating, it would be hours if not days. But on the other hand, my sister lives even closer to my parents than I do, and she's not planning on leaving. They definitely have roots. In the end, it's got to come down to what's going to be the best for my family -- me, husband, and son. And I am really not sure what that is.

I'm going to bed. I'm about to fall asleep at the keyboard. More to come in the saga of my life....