fitting room trauma

Today, I decided that it was time to get a new swimsuit. I haven't bought a new suit since the birth of my son in 2002. So, off to the fitting room I went, selection of suits and toddler in tow.
Note to self: Do not take a toddler swimsuit shopping again. Get a tan before swimsuit shopping again.

I'm in the room, looking at my pasty self in the mirror, trying to honestly evaluate whether this suit is going to fit my needs and whether I'll be embarrassed to wear it in public, when my son starts poking me in the belly and chanting "Belly, belly, belly..." I get him to stop that and then he goes behind me and does the same thing with my butt, only the mantra this time is "Booty, booty, booty..." It was too much, the glare from my super-white body in the fluorescent lights and my son poking me. I left empty-handed. I think I'm going to go get a Mystic Tan and then try this again...solo.